Day 6/New Policy

I have decided that posting every day, including boring ones, is boring to write, and boring to read. Therefore, I will now only post when there is something worth posting. For example, very close calls, strong desires to kill myself, etc. Stay tuned this weekend.

Day 5

The fifth day of this adventure is just about over, and you know what that means. I am officially 12.5% done with this! Why does it feel like I've been at it for much longer? Ugh. Yesterday night I was fortunate enough to escape the confines of Davis, and sure enough, Lent was a lot easier to keep when there were not competilent (see previous entry for definition) girls around. The girls I was with were certainly dressed scandalously, sort of like a Playboy party, except on a cold night in San Francisco (who knows why), but all that did is put sex on the brain, not tempt me into anything. I would never hook up with any of them (and one is married), so I was in the clear the entire night.

I woke up this morning with a stiff reminder of what I am trying to do, but just stayed in the house until it was time for the first pledge meeting of the new term. I stayed on the active side of the room, so I made sure I didn't get wandering eyes across the various new members. Then I went straight home afterwards, not to avoid a potential situation, but because I wasn't feeling well. Overall, an uneventful 5th day. The urges are becoming stronger, but so is my resolve, bitch.

Day 4

It is the afternoon of day 4, and I thought I'd check in with a quick update. Remember the clear forecast posted late last night/early this morning? Yeah, forget that. This is perhaps the greatest test of will power I have ever been subjected to. I suppose that speaks to how pathetic my life has been up to this point, but so be it.

Luckily, I am removing myself from the dangerous confines of Davis this evening. My old roommates (female) came to visit today, and we are going clubbing in San Francisco tonight. My roommates are hot, and clubbing in San Francisco could certainly be called a 'target-rich environment' (especially if I'm tipsy...everyone's hot!), but I think this will be better for me than staying in Davis. I've touched on this before, but now I am inventing a word for it. Competilent. Davis has girls who are competilent. That is, girls who are aware of what I am trying to do (Lent), and as a result get their competitive juices flowing to a point where they will test me more than they would otherwise. If you glance over last night's entry, Jessie and Casey were both being competilent. The advantage of San Francisco is that hopefully, no one will be that way.

So assuming tonight goes well, I'll be back in Davis at the start of week, with smooth sailing until maybe Wednesday or Thursday. I might make it a week!

Day 3

I have taken the habit of posting at the conclusion of the day indicated in the title. So although it is now Saturday morning, Day 4, this post will reflect on Day 3, which has now come to a close. In the wake of Day 2's activities, I decided I needed a change in tactics. It would be nigh impossible to go out and party every night like normal, if I expect to keep this up. If I was to allow situations to simply progress to my stated threshold of the "grandmother rule" (see subtitle), then I am bound to slip up, or lack the self control to say no 100% of the time.

So I have a new plan. I will still go out and socialize like normal, but I will cut back on the quality of partying, if not the quantity. I think it would be wise for me to stop after a few drinks, instead of trying to get to the point where I will do something stupid, which was the previous modus operandi. So although Friday was uneventful while the sun was up (with the exception of the requisite desire to break this vow in the privacy of my room...I kept busy by cleaning), things became more interesting the later it got.

In keeping with my new plan, I was hoping for a house party, somewhere I could relax on a couch with a few beers, and move at my own pace. Sadly, after frantically searching for one for well over an hour, I resigned myself to another night on the town, or the village, as the case may be with Davis. Cafe Bernardos, then Cantinas, una vez mas, sigh. We had a slightly different group this time, so that made it new, and I mixed up the beverages a little. After spilling most of my wiki, I went with an Irish car bomb, which was a pleasant change, but not enough to do anything for me.

I did not have much at Cantina's either, as I was determined to party, but not as hard as usual. I succeeded, but as expected, certain people were out to ruin my chastity. It's interesting, because these people would probably not be trying nearly as hard were it not for this commitment to Lent, but that brings out the competitive spirit in everyone I suppose. "Jessie" and "Casey" have both confided in me that they have never wanted to hook up with someone, and not been able to get that person. Side note, is that really what its like to be a girl? You can just get anyone you want? Insane. Anyways, they were/are not big fans of this Lent project, if only because it means even if they wanted to (I don't think they do), they wouldn't be able to get someone. After a few minutes of cirque de soleil-worthy gyrations on the dance floor, they realized I was not going to crack, and moved on with their life. Go me.

All is still well, and I'm getting more accustomed to this no masturbation thing. The outlook is sunny. My old roommates come into town tomorrow, so I should be in the clear for a couple days!

Day 2

So on February 22nd, before I went out that night, (technically day 2, since it's now 2am on day 3), I was thinking of a few topics I wanted to tackle in the latest post. Last night, I was eating a delicious dinner at Alhambra Apartments, when someone who I shall call "Nicole" asked me how I would handle temptation. Specifically, she said "what are you going to do if someone intentionally tries to make you break it?" Well first of all, I would enjoy myself, because any attempt by anyone to break this Lent is sure to be entertaining. The difficult part will be stopping this person just short of the threshold I have set for myself, outlined at the top of this blog. As fate would have it, I was about 24 hours away from my first real test.

But before I get to that, I'd like to review my mindset at the moment. All is well, except the desire to do things (masturbate, mostly) is magnified by the fact that I am unable to do it. I sometimes think, "c'mon, no one would know," but that's not true, because I would know, and I'd be letting myself down. And besides, not even making it a week would be just pathetic. In other news, I took a nap today from 3pm-5pm, and had my first legitimate sex dream of Lent. It wasn't with anyone in particular, more of a random person, but that I had it so early on in this process is a bit disconcerting.

However, let's move on to the good news. Tonight I looked temptation in the eye, and made that bitch blink. To begin, let's lay the scene. It's a Thursday evening in Davis, which means I am going to Cafe Bernardo's and then Cantina's. Bernardos was innocent enough, I just knocked back a few wikis, which does nothing for me anymore, and then went to Cantina's. Cantina's is where the trouble started. Now let's lay out the evening's characters. First is "Sarah," someone who I always found very attractive, and was friendly with, but nothing more. Next, is "Emma," who I am very good friends with, and sometimes hook up with when I'm drunk, even though I wouldn't call her 'hot,' per se. Lastly, "Pam," is someone who I always thought was hot, but never thought of doing anything with.

Sarah was nothing. Had I not been on Lent, I might have pursued more vigorously, but as it stood, I was content to hang out with her, chat briefly, and leave it at that. Emma was slightly more intriguing, but still did not push me very hard. She was drunk beyond belief, and I was a bit buzzed, so we danced for a little while, briefly brought up how my vow of abstinence precluded our doing anything, and called it a night. The real trouble came with Pam. Pam and I have been good friends for a long time, but became better friends recently. She knows about what I am doing for lent, and mentioned several times during the night that it sucked that I was doing that. For one reason or another we had never done anything before, but tonight she tried stuff. Lots of stuff. In all fairness, she was quite drunk, and I was reasonably buzzed, but yes, Pam brought the first serious challenge to my chastity. Whenever the two of us were alone, she made deliberate attempts to "move in," at several differnent locations, and fighting these off was significantly harder than taking the LSAT two weeks ago.

I survived. Barely. And perhaps the hardest part was coming home and not taking care of things myself. Fuck. I hate my life.

Day 1

Well, I've now put down over 16 hours, with no problems at all. Of course it helped that I was asleep for 12 of those 16 hours, but nonetheless, I'm feeling confident. I think the first minor test will come tonight, at Sudwerks. If I get buzzed, and certain other people get buzzed, this thing might come to a mercifully quick conclusion. I'm pretty sure I can be good, though.

I was also considering some options to make things easier on myself. One such option would be to just stop shaving. I can look very homeless, very quickly, when I don't shave at least twice a week, and I'm getting to that stage already. Keeping my facial hair unruly and unattractive would make it that much easier to avoid slipping up in this endeavor, but part of me feels like that's cheating. I should be able to handle this with a clean-shaven face, and no help from the Jewish hair follicles. Feel free to let me know how you feel about this.

So far there have been no urges, no potentially compromising situations, and no close calls. I am a paragon of virtue and chastity. See you at Sudwerks tonight.

It Begins

Hello folks. First let me clarify that I am, in fact, Jewish (technically), and it was my people who killed Christ, as your priest will no doubt remind you in the coming days. However, the idea of lent has always struck me as something very worthwhile, so this year I decided to jump in. I believe the purpose of lent (and I could be way off, since the only religious buildings I ever patronize are heathen synogogues) is to give up a major vice. And perhaps you are saying "oh please, this has been done in a movie before." Correct, it has, but so what. My thinking was that sex, or the idea of sex and all things sexual, colors my life pretty deeply. That doesn't mean I want to fuck everything (far from it), but "hooking up" and "getting a girl" is never far from my mind, as I'm sure is the case for anyone with a penis.

So in recent months, say the past 6-8 or so, I have lost almost all self-control with respect to sex (sex in the broad sense, not intercourse). This endeavor, therefore, is an attempt to assert control over myself and my surroundings. I would also like to see how certain relationships of mine function when sex is taken out of the equation. In any case, it will be fun to watch, and hopefully not too frustrating, at least for the first six hours or so.

This blog will chart my progress. Whatever I'm feeling or thinking, whatever close calls I had that day, and anything else related to this horribly misguided undertaking, will be posted. If something is even the slightest bit embarrassing to someone other than myself, that person's name will be changed for the purposes of this blog. I will update at least daily whenever possible. Have a satisfying Lent everyone. Lord knows I won't.